Sunday, July 20, 2008

Heavy Heart

These past few days have been pretty tough. We found out Friday that Bill (David's dad) will have surgery to remove his voice box. Saturday morning while Ashleigh and I were at the water park, Bill called to talk to Ashleigh. He wanted to tell her he loved her one last time before he lost his voice. When David told me this, I almost started to cry. Truth be told, I have been crying when I think about it too much.

We had told Ashleigh that Grandad was sick. Now we needed to explain why he was going to lose his voice. We talked about how smoking caused his cancer. I am not sure she completely got it but she did understand that Grandad will not be talking in the same way anymore. It broke my heart to listen to Grandad talk to Ashleigh on the phone.

I know the next months will be pretty tough. I find that today I am feeling pretty down. I am hopeful that once they remove his voice box and lymph nodes we can move to the next phase. I know radiation and chemo will be extremely difficult for Bill. I am hoping for the best since I am not ready to lose Bill just yet.

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